I think this is something ALL parents toil over.
Especially if you have a junior or senior in high school.
But really, is it your decision to make?
You’re not the one walking the campus, going to the classes, trying to fit in somewhere new.
Ok, you might be the one paying for it… so you get to have a little bit of an opinion; but choosing the right school is a HUGE process, a BIG decision!
There’s so much pressure put on kids to pick a college, many times even before they’re legally old enough to drive, or vote!
- Pressure from society because everyone is watching and posting about college.
- Pressure from the school to brag about where their students are moving on to.
- Pressure from friends to go to the same schools together.
- Pressure from parents to go to THEIR alma mater…
Once Liz entered high school we knew eventually she was going to move out, head off to college, start being a functioning adult on her own in the world.
And during those 4 years she really grew up. She was independent. As parents we didn’t hover (too much) and allowed her to have some freedom and autonomy. No more parent planned play dates, or driving her everywhere. She was beginning to navigate all that on her own.
Then she applied for community college at the beginning of her senior year. I think it was a good starting point since Liz was uncertain of her career path, and wasn’t sure where she wanted to even start applying. She had a few interests and ideas, all in different directions…
And so, we gave her the space and time to figure it all out, without too much nagging or intervening.
“Because let’s be honest, forcing your kid to go to a specific school of YOUR choice, might not work out exactly how you plan it. As parents we mean well, and we have our own experiences do draw from, BUT it’s not our life to live.”
– thatgirljen
She attended community college last year, and realized she wasn’t being challenged academically, wasn’t getting the support she needed for a new found career path, and the social scene was definitely lacking at the community college level.
And so Liz asked for help, sussing out a 4 year college or university.
We spent time online, window shopping many schools.
Made a few different spreadsheets to track our findings and rate each school based on her criteria. Looked at a few different programs to fine tune her career objective and set a goal.
It was actually exciting to see her go through the process of selecting a few schools to tour, and then apply to. She wanted to be specific and had a list of 5 schools. She didn’t want to throw a bunch of darts to see where they were going to land. She formed an idea of what she wanted, and became laser focused.
The important lesson there was: she took time at a community college to figure some things out. Decided on a career path and her major, and looked at WHERE she wanted to be in life.
Community college wasn’t a total waste of time. She realized being there just HOW MUCH she really wanted to go off to college. She didn’t want to go anywhere local, or to whatever school her friends were attending… or take the first college to respond to her application out of fear…she wanted to forge her own path.
It’s a pretty tall task. Proud mama moment for sure.
We toured a few schools to get a feel for each location, as that was a big part of her selection process. She had her short list, and knew exactly which school felt like home after stepping foot on the campus. I knew it, I saw it happen before my eyes.
After our tours, and going over her notes, she applied to a few schools and waited. This really was the biggest decision in her life…
Her top choice answered first!
“They said YES!”
And so she immediately filled out paperwork to accept and enroll.
Of course Liz picked a school that’s not local, heck she’s not even in the same state anymore!
- Our kiddo is over 24 hours away from home!
- She’s not just down the street where I can pop in and take her to lunch.
- She won’t be home on the weekend to do laundry or have Sunday meals with us.
- No more evening drive-and-chats for secret French-fries, MOJO, DUTCH BROS or SWIG.
- Instead, she’ll have a long plane ride that requires changing planes, to come home for holidays.
As a parent, this of course is also a big change.
We did the 3 day drive to school, got her set up in her dorm, said good-bye and gave her extra hugs.
Flew back home… to a quieter house.
The pugs have definitely been confused.
We’re all adjusting to this new season of life.
Thankfully we have FaceTime and texting, so she doesn’t seem so far away.
It’s really been a transition for us as parents, almost as much as it’s been for her.
And yes, of course I worry!
But it’s such an exciting time!
Seriously, she looks so grown up when we FaceTime in the morning while she’s getting ready for class. I love hearing her talk about her day, classes, the assignments, her teachers, the campus, the food, rushing, and exploring off campus with her roommate and new friends. Bonus is she also has a sweet roommate, so A+ to the dorm room-mate assigner.
And I’m happy to report that after a few weeks of being away from home, on her own, classes in full swing and she’s been busy… getting acclimated to her new surroundings, schedule and finding campus clubs to join and get involved with… she’s really happy with her decision.
Of course she’s said she misses us too much and can’t wait to get back home to see us… and that she really misses home cooked meals. No one makes food like mama. LOL